Crusts Cut Off

I’ve been in recovery from anorexia for over ten years and while I know her voice won’t ever completely go away, the past few years she’s been pretty quiet (thanks to therapy, proper medication, and a lot of hard work!). But it still surprises me when I have an anorexic flare up. This evening I went grocery shopping and I thought they didn’t have the bread I usually buy and I started panicking. It was this illness reflex — I found myself getting flushed and anxious until I realized they just rearranged the bread aisle. As uncomfortable as it is to be reminded of my history of disordered eating, it’s also empowering because I understand my patterns and I know how to regain control. I can talk my way out of relapsing and I know what to do to make sure I don’t slip in to any toxic behaviors. I’m lucky, living with anorexia has gotten easier over time, but it will always be something in my life that I have to fight.

Feeling proud!